We Shouldn't Be Parents...

 Do you ever think that you shouldn't be a parent? I have thought this to myself quite a few times because of little mistakes I have made here and there, but its those big mistakes that just make you think you are the worst person to be responsible for a child. Sometime around February, Wess and I were getting ready to go to a movie and hand over Isaac to a babysitter for the first time. I was rushing around eating dinner and getting myself ready. Wess was washing dishes when I decided to set Isaac down on the couch and start pumping a bottle for him. When I turned away from Isaac to talk to Wess in the kitchen I heard a loud THUMP and saw a panicked look on Wess' face. Isaac had fallen off the couch onto his back. I rushed to pick him up as he was crying hysterically. He stopped crying shortly after picking him up and we looked over his little body to make sure nothing was wrong and thankfully nothing was. I was so upset at myself and wondering, WHAT THE HECK WAS I THINKING?!  Letting Isaac lay on the couch so he could roll off! DUH! He has fallen from sitting and hit his head multiple times since, but nothing can compare to what happened today. I always ride my bike to meet Wess for lunch somewhere and today we were meeting at the park for a picnic, but this morning was somewhat of a strange morning and it seemed like so many little things were going wrong along with Isaac being a bit fussy. I was rushing around once again with taking a shower, making sandwiches, and taking care of Isaac. We got everything packed up, on the bike and made our way over to the park. We made it there with a enough time to spare and relax. While Isaac and I were waiting for Wess, we walked down to the river to dip our feet. I let him stand in a very shallow part of the river while holding onto my hands. He always likes to slip out of my hands and try to stand on his own, but he can't stand on his own just yet. When he slips out of one hand I grab onto his other hand. I got a little nervous picturing him fall on the river rocks so I picked him up right when Wess showed up. I handed Isaac to Wess as I made my way up from the river. As we were eating I was feeding Isaac some food when my sandwich fell on the ground and later the Tupperware fell everywhere. It just seemed like all kinds of little things were going wrong. We were eating our lunch in a grassy area, but there were some flat stepping stones around us. Wess was letting Isaac stand between his legs without holding on and he would slightly fall forward as Wess would catch him before falling. I was talking with Wess and distracted him from catching Isaac so he fell on one of the flat stepping stones hitting his mouth. There was blood everywhere, which was a first for Isaac. We couldn't really tell where the blood was coming from so we took him over to the bathroom and cleaned off his mouth. He had bit down on his lower lip, cut his top gum (we are assuming) with his bottom teeth, and scraped his chin a little. I was so worried that there had been some horrible damage to his top teeth because of the blood, but as we wiped the blood away it stopped bleeding and his teeth were right where they were before the incident. Isaac fell asleep on the ride home and woke up happy. I decided we didn't need to go to the doctor and that I would just keep an eye on him. He was back to his normal playful self for the rest of the day and is now sleeping the night away, but it all just made me feel like I shouldn't be a parent; that I shouldn't be responsible for this child. I know I have so much more to look forward to especially because Isaac is a boy, but when he gets hurt I feel like the worst parent in the world and just so sick to my stomach. The joys of being a parent!

(shortly after his fall)

Enjoy Motherhood!

- Momma Root